The Messy Middle

This year I took on the challenge of being a part of a shift in education by helping launch the Endeavour program at our school.  Half way through the year I feel like I am in the messy middle of our new program. 
When you start something new you feel excited, nervous, happy, scared, excited again, and ready to get started.  Then you start actually going through the process of planning this new adventure - what will the schedule look like, how are we going to get computers in their hands, what skills do they need to succeed beyond being a middle school student, how will I structure my lessons and room so they have flexibility in their learning path and pace, and the list of questions grows.  As you start to develop some answers to those questions and set up systems you realize that some things are working and other things need to change.  Then you get in the middle of the work as a teacher where you now have to manage students throughout the lesson process, grade work, communicate with parents, plan the next unit, reflect on the past unit, add more components to the process, and start planning on scaling for next year.
The messy middle is where I start to doubt myself.  I feel like this year I have some of the best relationships with students through our use of community time.  We are helping students collaborate with one another through team challenges, track their learning using data, giving them skills to succeed by being organized and responsible digital citizens, empathizing with one another and reflecting on their own experiences through circle conversations, and celebrating our successes along the way.  I also feel like this is the year I am struggling with content.  Perhaps it is teaching a new grade level, developing lessons with multiple levels and modalities, changing my typical lesson plan structure, having a room full of students doing different things all the time, or all of the above.  This is where I have to look for the small victories to remind myself that even though this is work - it is important work I am doing.  I am changing the way I teach and I am changing the way my students learn. 
This morning I heard a quote from a mother as I was listening to Story Corps on NPR.  Unfortunately I did not catch her name to credit her properly but her words really spoke to me about where I am in this journey - "It's not a fairy tale, it's not a failure, it's a process."  This year is definitely a process, one that I am proud to be a part of and one that I know will make our education system better.